Today BirdSmack Industries is proud to announce the launch of our newest product, Seal De-Oiler™! Simply rub Seal De-Oiler on any oil-covered seal, and watch the oil just magically melt away!
This revolutionary compound enables cleanup workers to cleanse all the seals affected by the BP Oil spill. It’s just another way we’re putting middle finger technology to work for YOU, seals.
Dear partners, stakeholders and customers of BirdSmack Industries, a division of BirdSmack Corporation:
It’s been a while since we updated you on the state of our business, but it’s just because we’ve been busy. Today we’re thrilled to announce that we’ve reduced water usage by 30% in our BirdSmack Smelting and Refining Division! It’s just one more way BirdSmack is working towards brighter, more efficient, streamlined, and planet-friendly middle finger solutions.
Cheers!
Happy Valentine’s Day!
For when it’s ice cold.
Some occasions for use:
1. A turtle bites you.
2. Slow people are in front of you.
3. Someone messes with your shell.
To bike thieves everywhere.
Use this BirdSmack in times of grave misfortune.
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